Senator John Fetterman has openly discussed having thoughts of self-harm before seeking help for depression.

He recalls pondering over his three school-aged children. “I cannot be a model for my kids. I cannot allow them to feel abandoned or confused about why he would do that,” the first-term Democratic representative from Pennsylvania shared with NBC’s “Meet the Press” during a candid and reflective interview recorded prior to its airing on Sunday.

On February 15th, he admitted himself to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. He expressed feeling hopeless and unsure of what was left for him during his stay.

He also questioned his political survival.

He stated that when the news broke where I was and where it was headed, it caused quite a stir. As a result, I thought it would mark the end of my professional journey.

In May of 2022, during his run for a highly contested Senate seat, Fetterman experienced a stroke and was still struggling with the aftermath while seeking treatment for clinical depression. At 54 years old, Fetterman’s heart stopped and he was in critical condition. To manage his two heart conditions, atrial fibrillation and cardiomyopathy, a pacemaker with a defibrillator was implanted.

His victory over Republican Mehmet Oz had helped Democrats keep control of the Senate and made him a national figure. It was the height of his political career. But he couldn’t make it out of bed at his home in Braddock, in western Pennsylvania.

“I deeply frightened my children, and they asked, ‘You succeeded, Dad. Why are we not sufficient? Why are you still so sorrowful? Why do you feel even more sorrowful?’ It was difficult for me to explain the reason behind my sadness. Of course, a 9-year-old would not comprehend it. It was a terrible situation,” Fetterman shared.

He strongly expressed his reluctance to attend the orientation sessions in Washington for newly elected lawmakers in November, stating that he did not want to go to D.C.

As his favorite holiday approached, he found himself unable to focus on purchasing Christmas gifts for his children and was filled with apprehension about his upcoming swearing-in on Capitol Hill in the new year.

In just two months, he had arrived at Walter Reed. Staff members had reported that the recently elected senator was distant and unengaged, showing little appetite for food or conversation about work, and not engaging in the usual friendly exchanges with the staff.

“This is a conversation that I’ve had with myself and anybody that knows they’re unable to address their depression, is they start to have dark conversations with themself about self-harm,” Fetterman said. “And things continued to kind of tick off the list. And then I kind of hit the emergency brake.”

He stated, “I was aware that I required assistance.”

Fetterman had not previously openly shared his struggle with depression before being admitted to Walter Reed. However, he has since revealed that he has dealt with it intermittently throughout his lifetime.

In late March, he departed from Walter Reed after receiving six weeks of inpatient care for his depression, which is now in a state of “remission,” according to a statement from his office.

“Remission” is a term used by doctors to describe a patient’s positive response to treatment, leading to a return to normal social functioning and an inability to be distinguished from someone who has never experienced depression.

Fetterman is now a noticeable figure in the Capitol, engaging in playful conversation with journalists, making jokes with fellow senators, and actively participating in Senate hearings.

For those currently experiencing a difficult holiday season, Fetterman shared this advice: “I understand that last year’s was bleak. And this year’s may also be bleak. But next year’s has the potential to be the best one yet. That’s what happened for me.”