According to recent events, the traditional notion of “women and children first” has been disregarded.

The saying and its serious implications about prioritizing individuals in a disaster have its origins in shipwrecks from centuries ago and have been popularized by Hollywood’s depiction of the Titanic tragedy. It is once again being discussed at a time when women are increasingly expected to perform tasks traditionally reserved for men in many societies. According to experts, the unwritten rule of the sea is a misconception perpetuated by Hollywood and an outdated idea of chivalry from the Victorian era.

The main focus of this set of questions revolves around the exchange of prisoners for hostages between Israel and Hamas in November. This deal gave priority to releasing women and children, as negotiators recognized the importance of keeping mothers and their children together. While this approach has received strong support from Israelis, it also means that elderly and injured men were left behind during a particularly chaotic time in the war, causing frustration among some families. On Friday, Israel announced that the army had accidentally killed three of the remaining hostages, all of whom were men.

“To say ‘women and children’ in the 21st century — as if families can be whole without the fathers, as if children that have come back with their fathers still there can in any way start recovering from the trauma — is unthinkable,” Sharone Lifshitz, whose mother was freed in October and whose 83-year-old father, Oded, remains in captivity, told The Associated Press.

Out of the approximately 240 individuals who were taken captive during the violent incident led by Hamas on October 7th, 86 of them were Israelis who were ultimately freed. Another 17 Thai men were also released. This resulted in a remaining group of 119 men, many of whom were either wounded or elderly, and 17 women and children who were still held hostage in Gaza.

During a closed-door meeting on December 5, as reported by Israeli media sources, the relatives of the remaining captives expressed their disappointment with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for his decision to prioritize the safety of women and children before resuming the bombardment of Gaza. There are currently no known plans in place for negotiating the release of any other individuals.

“Do you believe the men are capable? It’s too difficult for them. Let’s bring all of them back home,” Sharon Cunio stated to Netanyahu and the war cabinet of Israel, as reported by local media.

“Putting children first” appears to be a commonly accepted emergency response strategy, whether it involves rescuing individuals during a natural disaster or a hostage situation. In times of crisis, it is often women and children who suffer the greatest consequences: The fatalities resulting from Israel’s attack on Gaza have surpassed 18,700, with approximately two-thirds of them being women and children.

However, adhering to different standards, such as prioritizing women over men, can result in complicated evaluations of whose lives hold more worth – ultimately reflecting our tendency to categorize and rank one another.

According to experts, the current decision often involves prioritizing the most vulnerable individuals, including children, older adults, and those who are ill or injured. In situations where not everyone can be saved simultaneously, key considerations include effective leadership and individuals making a choice between themselves and others.

Additional factors play a significant role, including the timeframe before a ship sinks and the social and cultural expectations of those involved.

The definition of “valuable” is influenced by the individuals in control of the circumstances, according to Edward Galea, an expert in evacuation and human behavior at the University of Greenwich. In a fire or other emergency, it is typically those who are directly affected, such as a ship captain or passengers. However, in a hostage situation, external forces play a significant role – as seen in the intense political climate and global attention surrounding the Gaza conflict.

Galea mentioned in an email that it may be seen as beneficial to prioritize the release of the most vulnerable individuals, women, and children. He clarified that there is no legal requirement to save women and children first, but rather it is a tradition influenced by Hollywood.

During a catastrophe, experts have observed that human behavior is often characterized by a “every person for themselves” mentality, with little regard for group identity or negotiating terms as in hostage situations. Time is of the essence and decisive leadership becomes crucial in these situations.

In 2012, a man named Francesco Schettino, who was the captain of the Costa Concordia luxury liner, crashed the ship into a reef near the Tuscan island of Giglio, causing it to capsize. This resulted in the death of thirty-two people. Schettino is currently serving a 16-year prison term for charges of manslaughter, causing a shipwreck, and deserting the vessel before ensuring all passengers and crew had safely evacuated.

In the negotiations for the exchange of prisoners between Israel and Hamas, it was decided that mothers and children would not be separated. Hamas, who had previously disregarded the rules of hostage-taking by taking women and children, was more willing to let them go as they were hindering their objectives. Although not all women were freed, some remain in the military and others have passed away.

Following Israel’s resumption of airstrikes on Gaza on December 1st, it was reported that Netanyahu informed the families of the male hostages that Hamas was making demands that even they, as relatives of the missing individuals, would not have agreed to in order to secure their release.

The belief in prioritizing women and children during emergencies is often linked to the sinking of the HMS Birkenhead in 1852, which occurred a short distance from the South African coast. In the early morning of February 25, the steam-powered ship, carrying approximately 638 individuals, collided with a rock near Danger Point. As reported at the time, the front of the ship was flooded with water and the mechanisms for lowering the majority of lifeboats did not function properly.

At the time the ship was sinking, 38-year-old British Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Seton realized that if men tried to escape, they would overcrowd the already occupied lifeboats that were carrying women and children. He is widely recognized for this insight.

He commanded his crew, “I urge you not to carry out this action and I request that you all remain steadfast.” According to multiple survivors, they followed his command. The National Army Museum of Britain confirms that all 193 survivors included the 26 women and children on board.

This led to the creation of the “Birkenhead drill,” where women and children were prioritized for rescue in maritime disasters. In 1896, Rudyard Kipling famously wrote, “To stand and be still to the Birkenhead drill is a difficult challenge to face.”

The drill became closely linked to the sinking of the RMS Titanic on April 15, 1912, resulting in the deaths of over 1,500 of the 2,200 people on board. There are conflicting reports, but evidence from investigations suggests that someone, possibly Captain Edward Smith or some passengers, gave priority to getting women and children onto the lifeboats. However, there were not enough lifeboats for everyone on board to evacuate.

The study, conducted in 2012 by two economists from Uppsala University in Sweden, found that ultimately 70% of women and children were rescued while only 20% of men survived. This principle was famously depicted in the 1997 film “Titanic” when actor Leonardo DiCaprio uttered the phrase “women and children first” during a pivotal moment.

According to Mikael Elinder, one of the authors of a 2012 study on 18 maritime disasters spanning three centuries, evacuations and rescues do not typically occur as they did in the Titanic. Elinder notes that the Titanic was an exception due to the influence of leadership on the crew’s actions.

Elinder stated that chaos is not typically observed in shipwrecks, but rather when there is a danger to one’s life, the natural response is to try to save oneself.

According to the research, women tend to have a lower chance of survival in shipwrecks compared to men. The rate of survival for captains and crew is significantly higher than that of passengers. Some survivors recalled instances of men prioritizing their own safety.

Lucy Delap, a historian of feminism in the United States and Britain from Cambridge University, explains that there were additional differentiations made.

In 2012, she stated that not all women were given equal protection at sea. Women from lower social classes, such as wives of sailors or soldiers, and poor immigrant women, were often not included in this rule. Women of color were also marginalized in the same way.

___

Julia Frankel, a writer for the Associated Press, contributed from Jerusalem. Laurie Kellman, also from the Associated Press, is currently based in London. You can follow her on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/APLaurieKellman.